Friday, July 18, 2008

Sex or making love, does it matter?

Just two days ago, I came across an interesting article with this question: "Is sex important to you?". Of course, most of the male respondents in the article answered affirmative, whereas the minority said that as long as there's love, it doesn't matter. So, I took it upon myself to make a mini survey of my own, by asking close friends on their opinions of sex.

First of all, do you think sex and making love are the same? Well according to my respondents, they're not. Loosely speaking, sex is just for own, personal, selfish pleasure, whereas making love means ensuring both parties are having a good time on bed. A good 'sex' example would be a man satisfying himself with a woman, without regards on whether the woman is having a great time or not. In fact, as long as he is satisfied, he feels happy. Yes, this is nothing different that hiring a prostitute!

On the other hand, a gentleman who is 'making love' tries his best to ensure both parties are enjoying the whole process thoroughly. He will put his woman's satisfaction on top of his own. Furthermore, most of my male respondents stated that their woman's satisfaction will make them happier than their own. Talk about ego indeed. It is just something that men feel, that they are ABLE to generate such pleasure in a woman, that they have the power and capability to do so. Yes, egoistic indeed, but if we're the women shouldn't we feel happy that our happiness is prioritized? *winks*

Well, now that we're clear on the difference between making love and sex, my question would be, is making love important to you? For this question, ALL of my respondents said yes! In fact, most of them said that it's a natural human being feeling, without which they would feel that something is missing in their lives. Love has an emotional and a physical part to it, so even though you love your partner with all your heart (emotional part), but you're not able to enjoy great sex (physical part), it will still not be complete. One of my friends even said that if he can't have a satisfying sex life, he will be prone to having affairs just so to satisfy his inner desire. I guess I can't blame him for that, because this is after all, natural. If you have it all, why would you look elsewhere, right?

But, as a girl, I think it is somehow rather shallow to place so much importance in sex. Sure, it is part of our natural needs as human but I read from Cleo that some girls indeed don't enjoy sex! In fact, they find it painful and avoid it. So does that mean these girls will never find someone who could accept them? I don't know as well. Dilemma. What do YOU think?

But ultimately, I should think that if there's still something that can be done to improve a couple's sex life, it should be done. See a doctor, a gynae, even a sex therapist. Go for all means to see if things can be improved. You deserve it! :)


Bamboo said...

Having sex is of course of extreme importance to all relationships. It can either build a meaningful relationship (by having great sex) or destroy one (by having sex with another). There is no one movie with love story that does not involve sex... while having great sex might not be the only reason for good relationship, if a couple have bad sex between them, it would be just a disaster waiting to happen. If I remember correctly, if a husband or a wife refuse to have sex at all with either party, it can be used as a reason for divorce... so, that's how important it is.

iamthewitch said...

bamboo, what you said is so right. I guess bad sex is detrimental to a relationship, though not the most important thing. But I didn't know about not having sex as a reason for divorce though :P