Monday, June 23, 2008

Flying Saucer

Note: Acknowledging ManagerP for the catchy title :)

If you read my previous post before, you would have known that 2 months have passed since then. Now is the time, more than ever, to share with you all what is bound to happen very soon that would take away my happiness and joy. Truth is, Saucer is my happiness and joy. Looking forward to meet him after work is one of the little joys that I embrace daily, just for me to vent out my dissatisfactions of the day, or to announce my good news (if any) or just to share a plate of rice for dinner when I'm not hungry. It has been more than 2 years now and I would be lying if I say I never took him for granted. Because I did. Many times. Only because he's around whenever I'm upset- like that time when I needed a hand with my dying car, and that night when I wanted so badly to pump petrol before the fuel hike even if it meant queuing up for hours, and most definitely when I'm sick. Even in the middle of the night, if I feel unwell and wanted to see a doctor, all I had to do was ask. All these and many other little things made me realize that Saucer has been a big part of my life and sometimes, I take for granted that he will be around whatever happens. Indeed, I was ungrateful. And now, I have to pay the price. Saucer is going away for his new job in another state. When I heard that news, it took me a few days to completely comprehend the extent of the situation. In fact, I didn't want to stomach it at all. I was selfish at one point, only to realize that I was actually childish. Eventually, I gave in and embraced. There was really nothing much to be done except that. I have to be happy for him because he finally found what he was looking for, his calling. I have to force out a smile whenever he talks so excitedly about his new job just so he knows how happy I am for him, while ignoring the feeling of a deep cut down in my heart. It's for the best, he always said. I just nodded and smiled again, thinking of the times we went for weekday movies, which would not be possible anymore. And the times we argued extensively over the smallest matter, just so I could get him to persuade me afterwards. After this, there would be no more petty arguments, because the time we spend together would be so limited to be wasted on things as such. There would be no more of me complaining incessantly whenever he's late, because, again, time is precious.

And there would be no one sharing a plate of rice with me.

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8 comments:

IamDoryFish~ said...

Awwwwww :( dear, i know it's not easy for you going through this. Things will never be the same again, and it's EXTREMELY hard to adapt to the new changes. Sigh. I can't imagine if this is happening to me either. So I can understand how bad you are feeling all these while. But, try looking things at the bright side, saucer got his dream job and better career. Hence, stable future for you both. As for the challenging long distance relationship...be strong! I'm always here to support you k. Don't hesitate to call me if anything! *hugz* stay strong.

Vickna said...

I was actually looking fwd for this post...but didnt realize it was going to be a very sad/touching one :(
Nvmla, after August ull have more time to spend your weekends in KL! :)

chiaoju said...

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. It would only make you appreciate each other more. And who knows, it would perhaps make you realize how much you actually loved each other and spend your life with each other. It's only normal for us humans to in a way take things for granted coz that person is always there. Nevertheless, I'm sure the love you have for each other is so strong that everything would just work out fine. *hugs*.

iamthewitch said...

iamdoryfish: Thanks dear... Appreciate your support anytime. :)

vickna: Hehe after August we might have more chances to go to KL together. :P

chiaoju: *Hugs* Thank you for those encouraging words... Hopefully it is really a blessing... :)

TNH said...

he definitely can't wait to take leave so that can come back to your side..touching post..

giddy tigress said...

As someone who has BEEN in an LRD (long distance relationship), I will not lie to you and tell you it will be smooth-sailing. It will be challenging for you both. But the important thing to realize is that the LDR will work only if BOTH parties want it to.
*hugs*
Let me know if you want a listening ear from someone who has been there and done that :)

iamthewitch said...

tnh: Aww.. thanks tnh :)

giddy tigress: Thanks a lot giddy tigress... I'll surely need more help once he's really gone. :(

meifong said...

Sorry to hear about the impending move..Absence makes the heart grow fonder some say.
There is no way I can understand what you're going through at the moment, but hold yourself up, girl! Your friends are here for you...